A Prayer written by HaRav Eliezer Berland, shlita, for Shavuos.

1.   Master of the Universe, You revealed Yourself from within the cloud of Your glory to Your holy people to speak to them. You allowed them to hear Your voice from the heavens and showed Yourself to them from the deep and pure darkness. All of creation trembled in fear before You, when You, our King, revealed Yourself on Mount Sinai to teach Your nation Torah and the commandments. You let them hear the splendor of Your voice—Your holy speech from the heart of the flames. You showed Yourself amid thunder and lightning, and You appeared as the shofar sounded.  The entire nation saw the sounds and the flames, the shofar’s call and the smoking mountain. They saw and trembled and stood at a distance. 
2.   Master of the Universe, merciful Father, You gave us festivals and holy days like Shavuos, out of Your great kindness and Your awesome ability to do wonders. On the day that the Torah was given, Your voice was heard from the center of the fire, and Your holy words could be heard in all seventy languages, from one end of the earth to the other. The entire world stood afraid before You; no bird flew or chirped, and the mountains and hills skipped like rams. The sound reverberated and continued to be heard, so that all of the world’s kings were struck with fear in their palaces. They sang songs of praise to You when they heard the speech from Your mouth. Your Name was praised in the halls of kings and rulers when You came to redeem the world from the hateful pursuer—from the liar and the thief—by sending the Ten Commandments down to the world. They are drawn down from the supernal crown and were uttered all at once, just as all the ten sefirot are joined together in a single supernal and absolutely hidden point. And it is from that point that all Jewish souls originate. I beg of You, Hashem, illuminate us with the light of all the hidden worlds by virtue of the sounds of the giving of the Torah which can be heard every single moment.  This is the “great sound that did not stop.” Illuminate us especially on this day of the giving of the Torah, the time when the wheat can first be harvested. These are the days during which Reuven—then a mere four year old boy—merited to ascend to the “field of the orchard of sacred apples,” to the source of all souls, the foundation stone. From there he drew down the “dudaim,” the plants that symbolize the keruvim [the statues of the angels that stood on top of the tabernacle] and the souls of Yisaschar and Zevulun. He merited hearing the Ten Commandments, just as Your voice was later heard in the tabernacle emanating from between the two golden keruvim. He rectified Cain’s sin, which involved the mystery of the Vacated Space, by seeing and hearing Your Ten Commandments even within the Vacated Space itself. He merited revealing G-dliness even from within this space, which is completely empty, and he mitigated the gevurot with his ability to see properly, his ability to see You even there. Yitzchak, too, had such rectified vision. His “eyes that had dimmed” were like the clouds of glory. May we soon see the redemption that will come in his merit. It will be a time when we will again be worthy of hearing the Ten Commandments that descend from the supernal chariot, the Divine words that are revealed as one immerses in the mikveh of the fiftieth gate before the rising of the morning star.
3.   Master of the Universe, You know how very far I am from all of this. The entire Jewish people shook and stood at a distance when the Torah was given at Sinai, and You know that we are all still standing at a distance and still fail to hear the voice that echoes throughout the entire universe—the voice that was heard by all the world’s kings, all the gentile nations, and all the birds and beasts. Merciful and compassionate Father, what will be with me? I still don’t hear this voice that is shouting out, and I am still stuck in the mire of awful corruption of the covenant and forbidden gazing. Merciful and compassionate Father please pity such a fool as I—someone who doesn’t open his eyes or incline his ear to hear and see the Divine echo that constantly reverberates throughout the entire universe. The voices cry out, “Wake up you sleepers! Arise from your slumbering!” Have pity on me, with my uncircumcised ears and my failure to hear the ever-growing sound of the shofar and Moshe speaking as You answer aloud. Hashem, please open my ears so that I can hear the call that awakens those who sleep at their posts, who sleep their lives away. Please open my ears so that I will hear the voice that cries out for me to wake up and leave my bad ways, the voice that urges me to cry out to You. Please, please have pity on me, Hashem, and I will listen to the words of spiritual awakening and rebuke that call out, “My brother, wake up from your foolish sleep! How long will you remain lying down, lazy one? Flee from the trap of sleep as quickly as you can!” You have sent wake-up calls to us constantly, for years and years, so much so, that it is impossible to escape the unending stream of both hidden and obvious messages of rebuke and arousal that You have been sending us. “Wake up from your foolish sleep, brother! Wake up and serve your Creator while you still have the opportunity—before your soul takes leave of your body, while you are still in the midst of your struggle in the mire of the material world. Get up and do what your soul, and its Creator, wants. Get up and sing out all of your soul’s endless yearning for Hashem!”
4.   Master of the Universe, I will incline my ear and hear the Ten Commandments that are drawn from the song of the supernal chariot, the song of the keruvim. Make us worthy of hearing Your words—they were so sweet that every soul that heard them at Sinai left the body that housed it in its yearning to attach itself to You. Then I will feel the amazing revelation of the giving of the Torah, and my soul will be completely renewed with the dew of the resurrection just as the souls of the Jewish people at Sinai were restored to their bodies after hearing each commandment. With the passing of every breath, they were completely renewed. I beg of You, Hashem, bring us to experience what our ancestors did at Mount Sinai. They recognized their Creator and knew that nothing exists but Him. Bring us to understand that everything but You is null and void; it is as transitory and ephemeral as the vapor of one’s breath. This understanding maintains the world itself, just as the vapor of the breath of the little children who learn the Torah maintains the world. They are like the little aleph at the beginning of the book of Vayikra that opens the way for us to hear the voice that emanates from between the keruvim. That voice is great and it does not stop. It is the voice of Hashem speaking. “The voice of Hashem is in power; the voice of Hashem is in splendor. The voice of Hashem breaks cedars and cleaves the flames of fire. The voice of Hashem makes the wilderness tremble… it makes the hinds calve and strips the forests bare. And in His temple, everything speaks of His glory.”
5.   Master of the Universe, compassionate and merciful G-d, please make me worthy of hearing this awesome voice that penetrates into one’s very innards. This is the sound of the Ten Commandments that can be heard by giving charity to the poor of the Land of Israel, to truly deserving poor people who learn and pray day and night, charity to those who study the Torah and do not allow themselves any rest. Please, give us the strength to reach this ultimate level of giving charity so that we should have a share in the vapor of the breath of the little children who learn Torah. This breath is untainted by sin and sustains the world. I beg of You, Hashem, bring us to the level of absolute unity that allowed our ancestors to fit into the space between the two poles of the ark of the covenant and to hear the sound of the Ten Commandments at all times. Make us worthy of transcending our physical limitations just as our ancestors did in the Temple where the golden keruvim were. Help us to purify our souls so that they will be worthy of entering these heavenly chambers that shine like gems and are studded with sapphires.
6.   I beg of You, Hashem, have pity on my poor soul and give me hope that I will not be lost. Please bring me to experience the awesome shame that the entire Jewish people felt during the giving of the Torah, the shame that preceded the creation of the world. You created the world for the sake of the shame and reverence of “Bereishis” (whose letters can be rearranged to spell “Yarei–Boshes”), and with it, You renew creation constantly. Help me to feel this shame and reverence that continually renews itself and gathers momentum from moment to moment. Oh G-d! If only this shame and heavenly awe would permeate my very being, then I could leap and dance with powerful joy. For if it hadn’t been for the giving of the Torah, I would have been just another one of the masses in the marketplace. Hashem, help me to be joyous on the night of the giving of the Torah because of the amazing illumination of the renewal of the Torah. Help me to spend the entire night studying the Torah, from its beginning until its end with great joy and delight, so that I should be like one of the King’s courtiers who accompanies the bride to her chuppah just before the dawn. “The heavens bespeak the glory of G-d.” They shine like precious gems and sparkle like sapphires from one end of the earth to the other as Hashem “emerges from his chuppah and rejoices like a strong man to run the race.” Hashem’s glory is revealed throughout the entire world, and his Kingship extends throughout all of creation. All the universe bespeaks his glory. When that happens, all the Tzaddikim who stayed awake all the night long in their Torah study and joy in attachment to Hashem’s light become partners in the act of creation. With their holy learning that rises all the way to the Shechina, Hashem renews His creation each and every day. Please, Hashem, bring us to all of these lofty virtues, and a new world will open up before us.  Then, Your glory will be seen upon us.
7.   Master of the Universe, please release us from all the impure husks that surround us, that have swallowed us up. Release us from all of them, just as You extracted Abaye from the impure husk of Sisera, and Rava from the impure husk of Lot. You revealed the sixty tractates through them, and if You will only release us from the impurity that surrounds us, we will be able to reveal the light of those tractates. We could even be worthy of completing them every single night, which would be like the bed of Shlomo that had “sixty warriors surrounding it.” I beg of You, Hashem, may the power of the study of those sixty tractates protect us from all negative thoughts and from all idle chatter. All of our heart’s musings and our mouth’s expressions will be sanctified by Your Torah, and all of our hopes will be invested in You alone. Help us to always be attached to the study of the sixty tractates, for with them, we can extricate ourselves from the grip of the serpent. Within them lies the secret of the true Tzaddik who merited sharpening his mind until his face shone so brightly with its light that he had to cover it with a veil. This is like the small “aleph” of Vayikra that conceals itself completely, just as the true Tzaddik guards the covenant in the most complete way. This is the Tzaddik who merits bringing the Torah down to the Jewish people in every generation, revealing new Torah secrets that have never been revealed before, secrets that were concealed and waiting for the Tzaddik who would be fit to reveal them. He would reveal new concepts and new pathways with his holiness and his diligence. He would then open the gateway for those who long to attach themselves to the living G-d. “And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness light before them and straighten the crooked. These are the things which I have done, and I have not forsaken them.”
8.   Master of the Universe, let me hear the splendor of Your voice on this holy and awesome day on which all the mountains sang Your praise. The day on which the entire world shifted: the mountains skipped like rams and the hills like young lambs. They danced and sang; they even flew, together with all of creation. For they all longed to become a part of this hidden point that had been revealed at Sinai. The earth shook, the clouds dripped, and the mountains ran with water before Hashem, the G-d of Israel.
9.   Please, Hashem, on this day when a Divine echo shocked the entire world, please cleanse me of any trace of arrogance that is within me. For I am in such straits! I am a prisoner of my own base desires and a captive of the conceit that fills me from head to toe. It is so bad that I cannot even stand before You to pray, because arrogance is abominable to You, and mine has dulled my senses—my heart is uncircumcised. It would have been proper for my heavenly awe and my humility to grow with every letter of Torah study and prayer. My Torah study shouldn’t have thrown me into the trap of arrogance, lack of generosity, and senseless hatred of everyone. Please, merciful Father, Creator of all heavens, please see how broken I am, for I have opposed those people who maintain the world, the true Tzaddikim. Please help me to break my ego, and grace me with the attribute of humility when I sing and dance joyfully. Oh, if I could only sing like Barak and Devorah who brought about salvation for the Jewish people! If I could only sing like they did at the sea—that song made the Torah descend in thunder and lightning. And all those who went out with drums and dances did not disgrace Hashem with the golden calf. They did not fall into the sin of the spies and did not give up on the land of the patriarchs.
10.   Master of the Universe, song and dance will allow us to hear the Ten Commandments that constantly renew themselves. Please, Hashem, help us also to devote ourselves completely to the study of the Torah that was given from Your mouth amidst thunder and lightning. Help us to overcome the challenges of this world of forgetfulness and distance from You, this world that is full of struggle. Then we will hear the heavenly call. “Open up for Me as much as the eye of a needle, and I will open all the heavens for you.” Show us that there is none but You in all the upper and lower worlds, and that no one makes a move without You. In the merit of the true Tzaddik, help us to always understand what You really want from us. No money in the world would then blind us; no golden calf could cause us to stumble. The giving of the Torah will then grace us with sanctity and purity, with reverence and humility, so that we no longer stumble in sin or in error. Please, my Father in heaven, help me know how small I really am—that I am smaller than my own spiritual level. I will see that I am infinitely small, so that You will reveal more and more of Your infinite Torah to me. For as much as I know that I am residing in the lowest rung of hell, You will surely have mercy on me and illuminate me with Your light to enliven me.
11.   Master of the Universe, when Moshe Rabbeinu ascended before You to receive the Torah, You superimposed his image over the image of Avraham. “Love and truth will go before You.” Hashem, help us and grace us with the attribute of joy, the attribute of Avraham Avinu. He would gladden the hearts of widows and orphans and draw everyone closer to their Father in Heaven. Please, make us a part of the attribute of Avraham Avinu who was all loving-kindness—Moshe received the Torah at Sinai in his merit. Avraham planted a tamarisk tree so that he could draw people closer to You by doing kindness for them. Please help us, Hashem, also to feed the hungry and give drink to those who thirst and to accompany our guests with shining faces. Help us to rescue even the completely wicked from the grip of the Satan and to create new hearts for them out of our broken hearts, for we can only come as close to You, Hashem, as we are a part of the kindness of Avraham. Only by following in his way can we make the Torah great and glorify it.
12.   Master of the Universe, help me attach myself to the humility of Moshe. He said, “What am I anyway, that Hashem gave the Torah through me?” And even though Hashem said to him, “You were deserving,” he refused to take any credit. So Hashem said to Moshe, “Since you made yourself smaller, the Torah will be called by your name.” Please, Hashem, make true humility and self-effacement my portion. Then shame and reverence will fill my entire being. I will then be like Moshe Rabbeinu who never took any credit for himself; he made less of himself from day to day until he merited becoming a part of Your endless light.
13.   Please, Hashem, send me the power of speech from Your holy abode. Send me words to beg You and appease You. Open the gates of prayer for me, the gates of begging and pleading, the gates of study, of wisdom and of understanding. Open the gates of hisbodedus and convincing argument for the sake of heaven. Open up the gates of heavenly assistance and awe for me. Make me worthy of holy words, words that will find favor before You. Please help me to argue my case before You like Rachel did—Rachel who said, “I struggled; I was bound together with G-d.” Her struggles in prayer brought her a wise son, one who “gives goodly words.” Naftali, his words are like honeycomb; honey and milk are beneath his tongue. We will then we able to attach ourselves to You constantly with prayer which binds us to You.
14.   Father, make me worthy of praying very much all my life long. Despite my many flaws, open the gates of prayer and pleading for me, the gates of humility and submission. Then the gates of wisdom and knowledge will open for me so that I will be able to grasp all hidden wisdom. Then, in just a short time, I will be able to grasp what could have taken a lifetime. I will merit to “rejoice like a strong man to run the race” and to run and gather up all that I lost during my wasted days and years. For You revealed to us through the Tzaddikim in every generation that it is possible to achieve more with intense prayer than it is possible to achieve through fasting and self-mortification. Therefore, merciful Father, open the gates of desirability before You. Open my heart and mouth with holy words so that I will, from now on, be able to express all of my thoughts before You in an appealing way, with ever-fresh words of appeasement. I will then merit to pour my heart out like water before You and to beg and plead to do Your Will. For, Hashem, You know what is in my heart. How much I yearn to really cry out to You, to cry bitterly, and to pour my heart out like water and beg for Your mercy. How much do I long to run to attach myself to You, to follow You with true self-sacrifice and beg You to save my soul from all my sins that I’ve sinned before You. How can I possibly defend myself, Hashem? I will drive sleep from me out of my deep bitterness—I afflicted my soul so terribly for no reason, and I ruined my good traits and all of their charm. For the briefest and basest of desires I lost eternal life. I rebelled against You for the sake of desires whose illusory pleasure is as ephemeral as a passing shadow. My G-d, I rebelled against You! I sinned until I came to that which I came to, and I lost that which I lost. I’ve been like the wicked Bilam, who twisted around the words of the living G-d. At the very moment that the entire world trembled before You and was ready to repent, everyone came to Bilam in fear. He said to them, “You heard wrong. It was not, ‘Thou shall not kill,’ but rather, ‘him, you should murder.’ It was not, ‘Thou shall not steal,’ but rather, ‘him, you should rob.’” The Shechina said, “Heaven forbid! Go back to your wicked ways and don’t worry about reward and punishment. Don’t worry about the flood—Hashem will not bring another. Go in peace.”
15.   Please, great and exalted G-d, may my soul be precious in Your eyes and not something loathsome to You. Shine Your countenance upon me, pity me, and help me to serve You wholeheartedly and to learn Your Torah for the sake of heaven. May its letters then form words of blessing.
16.  Master of the Universe, Merciful and Compassionate One, grant me this favor on this holy and awesome day of the giving of the Torah and bring me to study it for its own sake. Redeem and save me so that I should not be considered a student of the wicked Bilam, but please, Hashem, make me one of the students of Avraham Avinu and Moshe Rabbeinu instead. May the offerings of my mouth find favor in Your eyes. Teach me Your statutes; help me to understand the way of Your commands, and I will speak about Your wonders. Remove the path of falsehood from me, and grace me with Your Torah. Help me to really learn Torah for its own sake, and not for any ulterior motives or extraneous considerations—but only for You, Hashem. Help me, in Your great mercy, to always sanctify and purify myself so that I can be a proper vessel to receive Your Shechina, and so that I can raise her up from the dust. All my study will then ascend to the holy Shechina, and the Shechina will receive all of my learning with great love. My study will be an elixir of life and will be the medium that will bring all sorts of abundance down to us here. Our Torah study will be transformed into an abundance of spiritual and physical blessing that will bring life to all the worlds, all the angels, and all of the celestial and terrestrial beings. My study of the Torah for the sake of heaven will arouse all of the Jewish people to repent completely. Every letter that I pronounce in sanctity and holiness, truly for the sake of heaven, will awaken the soul, that is rooted in that letter, to repentance. That soul will then run to do Your Will; she will escape from all of the darkness in which she is entrenched, and the light of Hashem will be revealed to her. It is the light of G-d that enlivens all the worlds, and that soul will also merit to hear the sound of the Ten Commandments wherever she may be. All the barriers and darkness will then be shattered, and she will ascend to bask in the light of life.
17.   Please, Hashem, may every letter I say in prayer shine like a sapphire, and may they draw down the dew of the resurrection that will nullify the thirty-nine categories of work that bring with them the thirty-nine curses. And may every single letter of Torah that we learn in sanctity and purity—every single letter of prayer that we say with proper shame and trembling—renew our very souls and restore to us all that we have lost. Shower the dew of resurrection onto all of Your creations and release them from the darkness that they are in. When we learn Torah with reverence and love, with joy and happiness, the whole world will be aroused to attach itself to You in an amazing way. All of Your creations will rush to fulfill Your Will with renewed inspiration and holy enthusiasm. They will busy themselves with Your Torah and Your service with an unquenchable love and unending longing. Merciful Father, may Your Torah be forever new in our eyes and always fluent on our lips. And may that newness make us worthy of revealing new Torah concepts and receiving and drawing from Your true Tzaddikim who learn Your Torah for the sake of heaven. They merit to always hear the sound of the Ten Commandments being given from heaven.
18.   Hashem, You alone perform great wonders. Please, Hashem, You revealed to us through Your Tzaddikim that every letter of Torah that is learned for the sake of heaven and in sanctity and purity brings souls to repentance. It creates holy angels who drive all our enemies away from us, in the same way that Yaakov sent angels to Esav. You revealed to us that it would become known in the ultimate future that a single letter of Torah, in its revealed and hidden aspects, makes all the wisdom of the gentile world fade into insignificance. Please, Hashem, make us worthy of becoming elevated by prayer, even in our generation, and actualizing great miracles that include all healing and salvation within them.
19.   Master of the Universe, full of great mercy, You do wonders that surpass human understanding—endless miracles. Please, Hashem, send me a miracle so that I will live and not die. Help me to be one of the dwellers in the palace of the King this Shavuos night; help me to learn the holy Torah all night long, to begin and finish it. Help me to learn the written Torah and the oral Torah, the Midrash, Zohar, and Kabbala. I will dance and sing out verses of encouragement, trust in You, and faith. Then death will be swallowed up forever, just as the generation that received the Torah experienced at Mount Sinai. For their souls left them with every Divine Word that they heard, and new and pure ones were restored to them immediately. They merited the dew of light, and the engraving on the Tablets. Father, merciful Father, make us worthy this Shavuos night of all the lights and all the blessings that the Jewish people merited to receive when You took them out of Egypt and brought them close to Mount Sinai. They merited the powerful illumination of, “And Israel camped there opposite the mountain,” like one man with one heart. It was the light that comes when each and every soul is brought together in great and powerful love and unity. About this, we say, “Even had He brought us near to Mount Sinai and not given us the Torah, it would have been sufficient.” The Torah then shone in all its glory for every single person just as it did for the holy patriarchs whose very limbs and vessels proclaimed all six hundred and thirteen commandments during their every living moment.
20.   Master of the Universe, please cleanse us from all blemishes of the covenant, for they block up the channels of wisdom within us; they seal our eyes, ears, and hearts. Just as it says about the Jewish people, “Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and smear over their eyes, lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return, and be healed. Then I said, “Hashem, how long?” And He answered, “Until the cities will be wasted without inhabitant, and the houses without man, and the land will be utterly desolate, and Hashem has removed men far away, and there will be a great forsaking in the land. And if one tenth remain in it, then that will be consumed again. But like a terebinth and like an oak, whose stump remains when they cast off their leaves, so the holy seed is its immovable stump.”
21.   Master of the Universe, all of the curses and harsh decrees have already been fulfilled in us. You have already brought every kind of holocaust upon us, and have already made us drink of the bitter cup. One tenth of us has remained from all of the Jewish people, and even that tenth is back to being made into kindling. They kill us every day, and spill our blood like water with impunity, and no one says a word in protest. We have been left like a stump with no trunk or limbs, and wicked strangers rule over us highhandedly. They do with us whatever their impure spirits impel them to. All of the holy seed is in danger of destruction, in danger of spiritual and physical annihilation, and no one can help us except for Moshe, who stands between destruction and desirability. Moshe, who manifests in the Tzaddikim of the generation, is like Boaz who rectified people’s souls. Boaz drew us closer to the truth with the awesome teachings that he received from You, and he drew the daughter of Moav closer to You too. He inspired people to convert and made people repent. He clarified the sparks of those souls out of the impure husks of Amalek, Ammon, and Moav, just as the grain is sifted out of the straw and the chaff. He revealed the souls of Ruth and David who are the ancestors of Moshiach, and he extracted them from the impure husks of Sodom and Moav and brought them up to the highest levels. He raised them to the level of the letters of the Ten Commandments, and made the entire holy nation worthy of being dwellers in the palace of the King.
22.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, help me to stay awake on the night of Shavuos, for staying awake will bring me closer to the true Tzaddik who is like Boaz, who merited to sift out the souls of Ruth and David. I will then merit adorning Knesset Yisrael on the day of her wedding with her twenty-four adornments: with the Torah that parallels the sefirot of Chessed, Gevurah, and Tiferet, with the Prophets that parallel the sefirot of Netzach, Hod, and Yesod, and with the Writings that parallel the sefirah of Malchus. And I will do even more—I will adorn her with all the writings of the great sages throughout the ages. And by learning the secrets of the Torah on this night, I will merit to be one of the bridesmaids who go out to the wedding canopy with her at the sunrise. This is the secret of the unification of the Holy One and the Shechina, and this brings about the complete redemption.
23.   For You allow the Ten Commandments to be heard once again on Shavuos morning, and You cause the dew of resurrection to descend again just as it did for the Jewish people when they said, “We will do, and we will hear.” They said it in unison when they heard the Ten Commandments from Your Mouth in one act of speech. They became like a single being with one heart. Oh, if we could only reach that amazing level of unity right now! The light of the moon would become like the light of the sun, and the light of the sun would be sevenfold as it was during the seven days of creation. All the accusations that people make against each other would disappear, and every person would shine with the most precious light from one end of the earth to the other. For You crown every Jew with a multitude of crowns on Shavuos night, and the heavens bespeak Your glory. All of creation shines with a heavenly splendor, and its light grows and rises from the depths until it bursts through all the worlds and high heavens. And when the rectification will be complete, the redeemer will come to Tzion, the completed city.
24.   Master of the Universe, joy and delight is Yours, please help us to feel the joy that fills all worlds on the day of the giving of the Torah, the day that all of the heavenly and earthly hosts wait for all the year long, the day when the groom goes out to greet the bride. It is the day when You descend down to the lowest places to pull Your bride out from the impure husks and draw her to You with great love and affection. You hold her and comfort her. Please, Hashem, make us worthy of the holiness of this great and awesome day when the groom transforms the sins of his bride into merits, her falling into ascension, her disappointments into successes. And all of the terrible falls of all the six thousand years of creation are repaired completely on this night until the very heavens, which represent the groom, shine into all the worlds. They even illuminate the sefirah of Malchus, the bride who has fallen into the depths of hell. She merits seeing this amazing light, the light of the groom, and abandons all the foolishness of this world. She shakes off the dust that covers her and takes off her garments of mourning. These garments are the body that dwells in the filthy dust of all the base desires and negative character traits, like jealousy and baseless hatred. She throws all of it off, and adorns herself with the precious garments of Torah and prayer. She crowns herself with diadems of Torah, the Prophets, and the Writings, with the crowns of the Mishnah, the Gemara, and the Midrashim, the Zohar and esoteric wisdom. She dons the jeweled crowns of, “We will do, and we will hear.”
25.   Master of the Universe, please make us worthy of this great all-encompassing light, and make us worthy of Your Torah and Your prayer on this day. They are the secret meaning of, “We will do” and “We will hear.” Help us to turn our “We will do” into “We will hear,” until we actually hear the Ten Commandments that constantly echo throughout the universe. We will become cleansed of jealousy and hatred; we will be purified of all false and fallen loves and will guard ourselves from superficial fear of anything other than You. We will learn Torah the way that You, as it were, learn Torah. And we will pray the way that You, if one could say such a thing, pray. The structure of prayer will be completed, and the Temple will be built. The groom will go out to greet the bride, and the bride will enter under her wedding canopy.
26.   I beg of You, merciful and compassionate Father, make us worthy of all of this salvation and comforting for we are already full of bitterness and suffering, holocausts and destruction. We have been refined like silver; we have gone through fire and water. Now, please Hashem, Merciful and Compassionate One, bring us into the light and make the night as bright as the day. If until now we have been like people coerced into accepting the Law—we left Egypt as a slave that flees from his master—if until now we have only repented out of fear, still, with Your mercy, we can come to repent out of love. We can accept the Torah once again with the proper presence of mind. By nullifying our own false sense of independence, we can become a part of Your endless light.
27.   Please, Hashem, may our Torah study on this night repair all aspects of night and darkness. And may the sefirah of Malchus emerge from her concealment with the break of day so that all concealment will become amazing vessels of revelation that never existed before. All obstacles will become sweetness, every affliction will become the greatest of pleasures, and the mountain that was held over us like a barrel will become like the crown of Hashem. All the world will then hear the heavenly voice calling out, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the one that brings good tidings, that announces peace…that says to Tzion, your G-d reigns! The voice of your watchmen is heard; they lift up the voice. Together they will sing for they will see eye to eye, Hashem returning to Tzion. Break forth into joy, sing together, waste places of Yerushalayim, for Hashem has comforted his people. He has redeemed Yerushalayim. Hashem has made bare His holy arm in the eyes of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth will see the salvation of our G-d… For you will not go out with haste, nor go by flight. For Hashem will go before you, and the G-d of Israel will be your rearguard.”
28.   Master of the Universe, bring us to see the complete light. Bring us to experience the light of the complete redemption on the day when the Ten Commandments echo throughout the entire universe. All the heavens quake, and all the nations tremble on the day that they sounded all over the world, for the Ten Commandments expand the light of the moon [that was made smaller because of its jealousy] to be like the light of the sun. “Thou shall not covet” is the aspect of having a generous eye towards everyone; it nullifies all types of covetousness, jealousy, and glory-seeking. It reveals to each and every person the path upon which he should go and his part in the rectification of the world so that he should not covet that which belongs to his friend. “I am Hashem, your G-d, Who took you out of the house of slavery,” keeps us from overstepping our bounds, for slaves personify covetousness, jealousy, and other base desires that stem from the shattering of the vessels. And the shattering of the vessels also resulted from the overstepping of boundaries. At the very beginning of creation, Adam HaRishon wanted to prepare himself to be able to hear the Ten Commandments by restraining himself from eating of the Tree of Knowledge and fulfilling his other base desires. But not only did he fail to bring about any repair, but he even caused further damage! He was swallowed into the skin of the serpent, and the serpent struck at his heel. Adam’s skin then became like the serpent’s, and Adam’s nature became like serpent’s as well.
29.   Afterward, Adam’s sons Cain and Hevel tried to elevate the world. Hevel chose sheep to be the medium for drawing down the light; he sacrificed sheep whose every hair signifies the creation of appropriate channels and vessels that can bring down the pure light, which is the very source of the Ten Commandments. Cain did not choose sheep as his medium, but rather flax. He wanted to ascend many levels at once into the hidden upper world, to enter into the Vacated Space and to know and make known that Hashem can be known even in that Vacated Space. He wanted to mitigate the gevurot without crying and pleading, without praying from the depths of his heart.
30.  Please make me worthy, Merciful and Compassionate One, of always praying with proper concentration from the bottom of my heart. Help me to repair this awful damage of Cain and Hevel who failed to heed the advice of their father. For Adam revealed on Shavuos to his two sons, “If you merit to hear the Ten Commandments, you can cast off the skin of the serpent and once again be clothed in garments of light.” But Hevel would not join together with Cain, and Cain did not want to pray from the depths of his heart. He prayed without crying and begging, and Hevel [although his own prayer was heard] turned his back on his brother. He relied on his own strengths and did not join the wool together with the flax. He, too, failed to repair the shattering of the vessels.
31.   I beg of You, Merciful and Compassionate One, help us all to unite as one so that we will always be able to see the charm and beauty of every single Jew. We will be able to see that all of us were created in Your Image, and we will become worthy of receiving the Torah.
32.   Cain spoke to his brother out of his jealousy. “Hashem may have accepted your sacrifice, but we still haven’t heard the Ten Commandments! Fly to the upper worlds and repair the broken sparks; then the world and its light will be rectified by hearing the Ten Commandments.” Hevel, though, could not restrain himself and retorted boldly, “Go ahead and remove your own garments of skin first, for the light has to be developed from Pesach until Shavuos. It can’t be accomplished with only outward enthusiasm, with shallow prayers piled on at the last minute!” Hevel did not teach his brother how to pray, and he refused to pity him. The repair was delayed for the coming generations. Hevel’s soul was hidden away temporarily, and Cain was to be avenged sevenfold.
33.   Master of the Universe, what can we say before You? We too have failed to hear anything. The festival of Shavuos has come and gone for so many years and we have remained in darkness—we have failed to hear the sound of the Torah that echoes throughout creation. And just as Cain and Hevel missed their opportunity, so have we.     Please, Hashem, teach us how to cry out to You from the depths, and how to be supportive to each other. The world will then stand firm, and the Temple will be established.
34.   Master of the Universe, You are full of endless and unimaginable mercy. Merciful and Compassionate One, You allowed Your awesome sefirot to emanate from You so that we should be able to hear the Ten Commandments. But at the very beginning of their creation, You caused the Shattering of the Vessels, which is the secret of the broken Tablets. It is impossible to put them back together unless we first break our own hearts and remove the jealousy and hatred we have of our fellow Jews.
35.   When You created the sun and the moon—the two great lights which were like the two Tablets—the moon was jealous and her light was diminished. The Tablets were broken and fell into the deepest depths. Their sparks were dispersed until You created the first man. You commanded him to sweeten the judgements and all you required of him was to wait three hours. You wanted him to hear the Ten Commandments on the first Shabbos of his existence. But instead of praising You and singing to Your exalted Name, instead of becoming a part of the Tree of Life and transcending all human understanding, he coveted the tree whose power to bring him understanding tempted him. He caused the Shattering of the Vessels all over again, and no one could save him.
36.   Adam commanded his children to bring sacrifices. Perhaps this would help them to hear the Ten Commandments from above. The smoke of Hevel’s sacrifice rose to the Shechina and rectified all three aspects of man’s existence: self, space, and time.
37.   Even so, it did not rise to the highest levels, for the barest trace of arrogance had risen within Hevel.
38.   Cain saw that his brother’s sacrifice had been accepted. He, too, brought one up, but did not make the effort to purify himself first. His hasty sacrifice was blemished with traces of the serpent and the scorpion.
39.   “Where is Hevel, your brother?” a heavenly voice asked. Cain answered boldly, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” His answer has caused so much damage—what he did out of resentment and anger drove Hashem away from him. A Heavenly Voice cried out, “Soon, I will turn the world to water!” Cain had tried to fool Hashem; he was judged and sentenced to wander and roam throughout the world. Tuval Cain forged weapons of war, refining his father’s art of death and destruction.
40.   The call of “Where is Hevel, your brother?” continued to reverberate. “The eleven future princes of Esav will be the products of what you have done, and they manifest the eleven curses of the Torah.” Please, Hashem, help us to  concentration properly when we recite the incense service, for the incense is made of eleven spices. Bring us to complete the rectification that they can achieve.
41.   Please, Merciful and Compassionate One, hear our cries, for the heirs of Cain are our destroyers. Our blood is like nothing to them, and the spirit of their spite infects us as well. The souls that are Cain’s children declare war upon us every single day; they act as though Your all-seeing Eye doesn’t notice what they do. But our hearts and our eyes are only turned toward You, Hashem.
42.   Please, merciful Father, have pity on us at the end of these seven weeks. During them, our eyes were always raised to You, so please enlighten us with the fifty gates of understanding on the night of Shavuos. Then we will strip off the impure husk of Bilam as we did when the Torah was given, and we will attach ourselves to You in holiness and purity.
43.   The damage that Cain caused remained for two thousand years, until Avraham came and “dug wells of water.” He made Your Name known in the world, for he drew down Your Torah like a flowing brook. Every day, two tears from heaven fall into the ocean, which parallel the two broken Tablets. If we were only willing to give in to our fellow Jews, we would have already merited hearing the Ten Commandments at any time! But, instead, we continue to stumble in the sins of jealousy and the slandering our pure brothers and the Tzaddikim. Please, Merciful and Compassionate One, save us from hating our fellow Jews. Help us to really have broken hearts so that we can ascend Your highest mountain. With broken hearts, we can go to war and win, for You succor the broken spirited and reveal the secret of the first Tablets to them.
44.   Hashem, You want to allow every generation to hear the Ten Commandments from the heavens, but we have uncircumcised ears. The generation of the flood said to You, “Leave us. We don’t want the knowledge of Your ways.” They were punished severely: the letters of the Torah were transformed into the raging waters of the flood.
45.   The Creator longed to have this voice heard by the people of Shem’s generation. This is the voice that never stops. But they too missed their opportunity, and they were scattered and dispersed. It waited until the patriarchs came, and their deeds began to right that which had been made crooked. Their attachment to the upper worlds drew the Shechina down to the lower worlds. All the heavens opened before them. They heard the Ten Commandments, and they fulfilled the entire Torah in its every detail.
46.   The Torah is won through self-sacrifice. At the binding of Yitzchak, Avraham saw that the Ten Commandments would be given after three days of preparation. He saw how his descendents would receive the Law, “And it was on the third day, and he saw the place from a distance.”
47.   Eliezer went on a journey to do the will of his master. His way was shortened miraculously when he conquered his own doubts and ulterior motives and resolved to faithfully fulfill his mission. He begged and pleaded to nullify the serpent’s sin, and just then, the daughter of Besuel came out to meet him. The well awakened, and its waters rose to greet her. When Eliezer saw her, his soul ascended to the heavens; he heard the Ten Commandments and had a vision of Moshe and the Tablets. When he saw that they were broken, he cried out to You, “Please, Hashem, save her children from their cursed mistake! The golden bracelet I give her will nullify the golden calf, so that the work of the hands of the Tzaddik should not be ruined. I will clasp two bracelets on her hands to represent the two Tablets, so that they will be clasped to and engraved on the hearts of her children. And when the children will join together as one, they will be fit to receive the Tablets.”
48.   Yaakov left the house of Shem and Ever after fourteen years of sleepless nights. The tears he cried as he went awakened a heavenly light to greet him. He rested his head on the site of Hevel’s altar, on the place where Yitzchak was bound as a sacrifice. And then Mount Sinai came to him, and he heard the Ten Commandments in his sleep. He cried out in fear, “How awesome is this place! If I had only known, I could have repaired the world! I could have ascended to the highest heavens and made the light of the moon like the light of the sun!” He was gripped by a great fear, for he had missed his opportunity and not done what he could while he slept. Then a voice from the heavens called out, “Do not fear. You merited resting your head on the foundation stone of the world. You merited to have your image engraved on the Throne of Glory. You will make your rectifications through Rachel and Leah. Rachel’s tears will bring about the final repair, the complete redemption.”
49.   Yaakov awoke and ascended by singing the Song of Ascents. He said, “my help, my help” referring to the two Moshiachs who are to come from Rachel and Leah, who are two worlds unto themselves. Moshiach ben Yosef will arrive first, like a flame that consumes the straw. Afterward, Moshiach ben David will come. “His throne is like the sun before Me.” The throne of David flies through the air with songs and praises of You, and when he comes, we will once again hear the Ten Commandments.
50.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, make us also worthy of all of these spiritual rectifications. Help us to pray with all of our heart on Shavuos, to praise and exalt You during the recitation of Akdamos. Help us to purify and sanctify ourselves, until we are able to see the Ten Commandments flashing from the midst of the fire.
51.   During the days when the wheat is first cut, when the first fruits are brought up, Leah went out to greet Yaakov. She went out with songs and with drums and dances, to celebrate the festival and to hear the Ten Commandments. Her two dudaim, which were like the keruvim, split the heavens; they raised Yaakov and Leah up as if they rode on the wings of eagles to hear the Ten Commandments.
52.   Rachel saw the two dudaim; she saw Reuven accompanied by two keruvim, and she understood the heart of the matter. Rachel saw that Leah and her son were awakening the power of the giving of the Torah. The world would be showered with its light, and the earth would be filled with a sweet-smelling fragrance. “The dudaim have given their scent, and all manner of choice fruits are in our gates.” Buds and blossoms—the fragrance of Gan Eden—filled Leah’s tent. The song of the angels could be heard just as it was to be at Sinai, and Rachel understood that the world was waking up to sing and praise at hearing the tidings of the coming of Moshiach ben David.
53.   Rachel was bewildered: how can our world come to its completion when my son, Moshiach ben Yosef, is not yet here? She begged You, “Please, Merciful and Compassionate One, hear my plea. Make me worthy of the dudaim, of their pleasant sweetness. Please send Your angels, the keruvim, to me. May they surround me and may they be close to me, so that I will be the one to complete the number of the Tribes of Israel by bearing the choicest of the sons. Yosef is the one whose birth can bring the Torah down from on high.”
54.   The entire world was filled the scent of Gan Eden, and the Ten Commandments could be heard. Rachel and Leah were joined together as one, and opened the way for their shared descendent Mordechai to come down into the world.
55.   Yaakov, Rachel, and Leah ascended to the loftiest levels, and brought the souls of three Tzaddikim back down with them. Zevulun, who was crowned with the letters of the Torah, Yisaschar who sat in its tents to study, and Yosef, the flame that appeared amidst thunder and lightning.
56.   If only he hadn’t been sent down to Egypt by his brothers’ hatred, his fiery sparks would have burned away the thorny stubble! If the brothers had only made peace with one another, the sun and the moon would have left their orbits to fight for them. They wouldn’t have had to conquer the land with arrows and spears, but instead, all the world would have feared them. They would have seen the resurrection of the dead, and they would have heard the echo of the Ten Commandments at all times.
57.   The job of rectification was handed over to Moshe, the man of G-d. He merited to raise up the six hundred thousand souls of the Jewish people to the highest spheres. Knesset Yisrael experienced the ultimate revelation. Even the angels of Hashem were moved by their delight in the beauty of their companions; the heavens rejoiced and the earth exulted in the Ten Commandments.
58.   In the fields of Moav, Ruth was inspired to join Hashem’s people and be purified of the dross within her—all because she had heard the call of the Tablets and the Tablet shards in Shilo. In that place, broken hearts became whole again when sacrifices were brought on the altars. Voices could be heard from between the two keruvim—those distant voices were brought close enough to even be heard in one’s heart and innards. Ruth then despised the temporal life of this world, and she longed for eternity, for eternal life. She relinquished her claim to her palace tiled with gold and jewels, to the kingdom of her father—the wealth of Eglon, the golden calf. She cried before You for days and nights; her heart and soul poured out like water before her Creator. “Please release me from this prison of Moav, just as You released Basya the daughter of Pharaoh! Set me free from the shackles of my father, so I can go to my Father in Heaven.” On the byways that lead to Beit El, in Beit Lechem, Ruth found the field of the redeemer. From the fields of Moav that had been the source of impurity, she made her way into the very heart of holiness, to the field of Boaz, to the dew of light. She thirsted for the word of Hashem, for the dew of resurrection, and found it in Boaz who restored a soul in pain with his sweet words. “You may yet be worthy to see the keruvim. Go out to the field of sacred apples, and you may yet merit to be the mother of David, the mother of Shlomo’s kingship, the mother of Moshiach ben David.” She overflowed with praise and songs to Hashem with all her heart and might; she acted only righteously, and kept her eyes toward Yerushalayim.
59.   Hashem, You forged the very mountains. Please help us and grace us with true love of our fellow Jews. May we be worthy of fulfilling the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” with all our heart and soul. May we favor our fellow Jews, act kindly toward them, and love them with complete self-sacrifice. Stop up my mouth, Hashem, lest I stumble and sin with my words, lest I open my mouth and speak ill of my brothers and friends, for all of my hope lies in our mutual love. Help me to become one with every Jewish soul before I begin to pray, for that will bring the redeemer to Tzion. I will then merit adorning the crown of the King of Kings with every precious stone, so that the crowns of the letters of the Ten Commandments will fly away toward the gentile nations. They will penetrate to their hearts and inspire them to convert. For the Jewish people, the Torah, and Hashem are one. When we really join together as a unified nation, we become a part of the thirteen attributes of mercy. They descend from heaven to mitigate the fire of judgement with the water of kindness. They repair the Jewish souls that are held captive within the bodies of gentiles among the nations of the world, the souls of future converts. At Sinai, all of the present and future Jewish souls stood there, and the souls of future converts were among them. They are noble souls that are hewn out of the supernal sweetness. They are souls like Rabbi Akiva, Onkelos, Shemaya and Avtalyon. They are of the souls that the patriarchs “created” in Charan with their love of Hashem and of all people, and their desire to draw others closer to Him.
60.   The entire world trembled before You when You, our King, revealed Yourself on Mount Sinai. All the people of the earth heard the heavenly voice calling out, “Return to Me, My children!” Their souls were filled with longing for the sound of supernal sweetness. Their very souls left them when they saw the splendor of the Creator. At the moment of this awesome revelation, one could see the redemption happening. The nations would have converted had it not been for Bilam. He ruined their ability to hear the Divine echo properly. The redemption would have taken place, had they not asked, “Is it a deluge of water, or of fire?” But they would not have fallen into false and empty fears had it not been for our sins, had we not been harboring improper thoughts as well.
61.   “You have inflamed my heart with one of your eyes” and not with two, for both haven’t yet been purified by the fear of heaven. Our lyre is turned to mourning over our two-fold destruction: the exile to Bavel and this two thousand-year exile. And the rest of the nations continue to set their eyes on us; they want to throw us out of our land and Yerushalayim. We are drowning, and the water is nearly over our heads, because we failed to stay awake on two occasions: during the night when the Torah was given, and on the night of the binding of Yitzchak. And now, Yerushalayim can only be built by forcing ourselves to get up at midnight. And only rectifying our vision can draw mercy down from heaven. When we do, we will hear the sound that splits the flames once again, the sound of the Ten Commandments. We heard it long ago, as we stood trembling with fear before You.
62.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, have mercy on us for the sake of Your Name. You helped Moshe, the man of G-d, bring the Jewish people out to greet You. He raised them up to the hidden world, the world of Leah, whose eyes are weak from endless weeping in prayer. And Moshe brought the prisoners out with tears and songs of praise. But when Moshe ascended on high to receive the Torah, the nation danced a strange dance in his absence. Their sense of shame left them, and they lost their reverence and their sanctity. Their tears and trembling faded like a cloud; their humility and submission disappeared as though it had never been. Moshe approached the darkness where You were concealed, as the nation stood at a distance covered in spiritual darkness. They forgot about Moshe and about the great wonders they had seen and fell into the trap of false and fallen fears. In their error, they saw Moshe’s funeral bier floating in the sky. Their minds couldn’t grasp the eternal nature of the Tzaddik.
63.   Please, merciful and compassionate G-d, You are close to all those who call out to You in truth. I beg of You, Hashem, please awaken the essential point of the true Tzaddik within us. We will search for him and seek him out in the light of our candles, and he will help us to hear the Ten Commandments once again.
64.   Hashem, when You went out from Seir on Your way from the fields of Edom, the earth quaked; the skies and the clouds dripped water. The mountains were streaming before You, Hashem. That is Sinai, before Hashem, the G-d of Israel.
65.   Master of the Universe, You are close to all those who call out to You in truth. You call out to us and send us signs from within all the concealment that we find ourselves in. You call out from Edom and even from the fields of Seir: “What? Have I come and no one is here to hear Me? I call and no one answers, I incline my Hand and not one listens. Am I not powerful enough to redeem You, to bring salvation?” Have mercy, Hashem, on me and on all of the Jewish people, so that there should never be any concealment in the world that could hide You from us, G-d forbid! Make us worthy of transforming all concealment into revelation and all hiddenness into knowledge, so that the concealment itself becomes a new revelation of the Torah. For You call out to us every single day, and send us countless hints. One can barely sleep because of all these signs that constantly flicker in our consciousness. Even in the depths of the deepest concealment, in Seir and the fields of Edom, we can still hear the roar of the Torah that sounds out powerfully at all times. It calls, “How long will you keep on loving your foolishness, oh foolish ones?  Whoever is foolish, let him turn in here. As for him that lacks understanding…come eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mixed. Forsake foolishness and live, and go in the way of understanding.” Then we will hear the sound of the Ten Commandments that fills the entire universe at all times, and especially on the day of the giving of the Torah. We will hear the voice that cries, “Anochi.” It crowns all those who have attained egolessness in holiness and purity with the crown of the letters of the Torah.
66.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, only You know how precious this day really is. It is a day on which the Ten Commandments can be heard, and the holy Divine chariot can be seen. It is the day when even the lowest of the low like me can hear the Ten Commandments. Even I can hear You say, “I am Hashem, your G-d, who took you out of Egypt, from the house of slavery,” and be released from all the lusts and negative traits that are called slaves and bonds. Please, Hashem, help us to be cleansed of all our base desires on this day by hearing the sweetness of Your words for which we have been preparing ourselves during the month of Iyar, the month called “Ziv,” for that is when the sweetness and the splendor of the patriarchs and matriarchs come down into the world. Hashem, help us to feel the supernal sweetness that suffuses every word of Your Torah and its six hundred and thirteen commandments. Please, Merciful and Compassionate One, allow us to feel this amazing sweetness that can make us nullify ourselves to You with endless yearning. Please make me become a part of the true Tzaddikim who merited experiencing this Divine sweetness, like Moshe who “took the bones of Yosef.” May we experience the sweetness that fills the bones of Yosef, who guarded himself from tasting even a trace of the sweetness of unholiness. May we taste the Divine sweetness that allowed Yosef to change the nature of Pharaoh’s dream for the better. Grace us with the sweetness of the Land of Israel, whose produce was protected. Favor us with this sweetness that can transform all of our negative thoughts into positive ones, and all of our flaws and blemishes into the most amazing rectifications.
67.   My soul thirsts for You; my flesh pines for You. My heart and body sing to the Living G-d. Please, my Father in Heaven, help me to long for You with my body and my soul until every fiber of my being—all my senses and feelings—will yearn for You alone. “ Just as it is written, “My beloved put his hand to the crevice of the door and my heart thrilled over Him…Let me lean against the stout trunks; let me make my couch among the apple trees, for I am sick with love.” May my longing for You be so strong that it nearly kills me. Then I will be able to taste this supernal sweetness; I will become like nothing and raise up all honor that comes to me to You. If I nullify my own ego, I will be able to hear Your words; I will be able to reveal the Ten Commandments that are hidden within the ten utterances of creation. Then I will merit hearing heavenly voices within every movement and every breath. Please, merciful and compassionate Father, make us really know that there is no such thing as despair at all, and that all that You have caused to happen in my life has been for my eternal good. Remove every kind of conflict from our midst, and most importantly, keep us from instigating conflicts with others. For then we should be able to draw down this amazing sweetness that can neutralize all the pain and trouble in the world.
68.   Master of the Universe, Your greatness is unfathomable; Your wonders are innumerable. I beg of You, Hashem, perform wonders for us and reveal to us the Tzaddik who can cleanse the world of its base desires, the Tzaddik who released the Jewish people from the forty-nine levels of impurity and brought them in to the forty-nine gates of holiness. Please, have pity on us, because we really need a Tzaddik like Moshe right now, someone who can raise us up to the Fifty Gates of Understanding and reveal the sweetness of the giving of the Torah to us once again—someone who can surround us with the clouds of glory, feed us the manna, and give us water from Miriam’s well to drink. He will reveal to us that everything is ordained by Your Providence and that there is nothing but You, so that we will again hear the sound of the shofar growing louder at every moment. And he will make his voice heard, even by those who have fallen into the depths of impurity. Please, Hashem, bring us close to this kind of a Tzaddik, someone who will always show us that there is still hope and that we should never despair. He will show us that even I have my own path to reach the true Tzaddik like Boaz. I will go out among the sheaves, along the paths, until I merit revealing the path that leads to the true Tzaddik on whom I depend for the entire repair of my soul and spirit. He is the Tzaddik who determined the law that “An Ammonite man, but not an Ammonite woman is forbidden to enter the people of Israel. A Moavite man, but not a Moavite woman, is forbidden to marry an Israelite.” Only he knows the way to make me a fit vessel, to raise me out of the impurity of Ammon and Moav. Only he knows the way to uproot the spirit of jealousy and baseless hatred from my heart so that I become worthy of having the Temple built during my own lifetime.
69.   Master of the Universe, in Your great mercy, help me to draw close to the true Tzaddik who has already tasted this amazing sweetness, the Tzaddik who has already heard the holy and awesome song that is played on seventy-two strings. Fortunate are the ears that merit hearing this song, and happy are the eyes that merit seeing the Tzaddik in whom Moshe is manifest! “Then Moshe sang.” All the songs and melodies of all the coming generations were revealed to him, even those that will only be sung in the ultimate future. He knew the songs of the angels, and the melodies of the souls. The soul of David lived within him as well, David, whose harp could negate all heavenly accusations against the Jewish people. He could even enliven the dead with his harp. Please, Hashem, make us worthy of the dance that can only be joined when one’s sins have been forgiven. Help us to hear the sweetness of the songs and dances of every generation, and the dance that You will ultimately dance with the Tzaddikim in the future world.
70.   I beg of You, Merciful One, make me worthy of being at least one of those who peek from between the cracks to see and hear the dance of the Tzaddikim at the time when every Tzaddik will point his finger and say, “This is Hashem; we hoped in Him. We will exult and rejoice in His salvation!” Please, G-d, the One who does wonders, You raise the poor man out of the dunghill and the dust, and the wicked man from the lowest of levels. Please bring me to repent completely before You. Save my life miraculously and quickly help me to abandon evil and do only that which is good in Your eyes always. You are good and do good to the righteous and wicked; please do this wonder for me by virtue of these songs and melodies. Only You know how sweet and beautiful this amazing song really is, this song that will reveal itself in Gan Eden. Only You have seen and know it, Hashem, but please bring me to also hear it and delight in it.
71.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, when You called Moshe to the heavens, You wanted to give him the Tablets in their most perfect form. The Jewish people heard two pronouncements as one, for they were like a single being with one heart filled with love for You, for Moshe, and for each other. They were bound up with You, Living G-d, before the Tablets were destroyed. They were free of the Angel of Death and were a part of the Tree of Life. They attached themselves to You with endless desire; all the worlds were united within Your unique oneness, Hashem.
72.   But when Moshe ascended to the heavens, they forgot their Creator. They abandoned Moshe the man of G-d, strayed from the path of faith, and began to make their own calculations. They felt as though they were orphaned and abandoned. And when they forgot the Rock that bore them, the Tablets immediately fell from their first level—they fell from the sefirah of Tiferet down to the sefirah of Yesod.
73.   The nation of believers stumbled. On the fortieth day they cried out to Aharon angrily, “Make us this calf, for Moshe is delayed!” They murdered the elders and bowed to the calf. They forgot the Ten Commandments and were lost.
74.   Moshe in heaven was still waiting for the Tablets while the nation broke out singing and dancing shamefully down below. Moshe was repulsed; the Shechinah lamented bitterly over the absence of truth among them. They left the path, and so the Tablets that should have been one were split into two, for their hearts were divided against each other and against their Father in heaven. There was no peace in their camp, for they had murdered the Sanhedrin. There was no peace in their tents, for they had stolen from their wives. The entire nation was wanton before the golden calf; they took the Tablets of the Covenant and made them into ordinary tablets of stone. The people split into groups to dance their demonic dance, the Tablets were separated, and the letters flew away and the stones were left in shards.
75.   The storm-rocked ship of the Jewish nation bowed to the golden calf; the men took their wives’ nose-rings and melted them to construct it. From then on they were to be called, “Tablets of stone”—two Tablets. For the children had forgotten and betrayed their Father in Heaven; they even forgot Moshe who had rescued them from Egypt. The Tablets were broken, the letters flew away, and the decrees of death and future exile ruled over them once again.
76.   During the days of Sefirah, we pray to draw down all of the levels of G-dly awareness so that we will be able to hear the Ten Commandments on Shavuos.
77.   This is why four sages entered the “orchard.” Ben Azzai and Ben Zoma went in to draw down Chochmah and Binah; Rabbi Akiva, to bring down Chassadim; and Elisha, to mitigate the Gevurot.
78.   Rabbi Akiva said to them, “When you reach the place of pure marble stone, do not say, ‘Water, water.’ For it says, ‘One who speaks falsehoods will not be established before My eyes.’” Rabbi Akiva was the source of Chassadim, and only he knew how to join Chassadim and Gevurot together properly. For if one wants to attach himself to Hashem, who is eternal life, to hear the Ten Commandments from heaven, and to reconnect the two marble stones that had been torn apart—the two Tablets—one must know how to become as one with other Jews. Rabbi Akiva always gave in to others for the sake of peace. But, the other three only wanted to operate independently. “Acher” drowned in the mire; Ben Azzai died; and Ben Zoma was struck blind. And the spiritual repair was pushed off for another, almost two thousand years.
79.   I beg of You, Hashem, look down upon us from Your abode and have mercy on us, for we are a poor and downtrodden people. Send us the true Tzaddikim, the ones who know how to effect all of these rectifications. Remove the sword and the plague from Your children; renew Your love for us as it was in days of old. On this day, on Shavuos, we will sacrifice two goats to atone for our errors, as You do on Yom HaKippurim. Please, let us hear the Ten Commandments once again. The Temple will be rebuilt and we will bring up sacrifices there. Hashem will return to Tzion together with the supernal sweetness; all base desires will cease to be, and all our character flaws will be rectified.
80.   Please, Hashem, help us to experience the sweetness that the Jewish people did at the giving of the Torah. It was a time when the world was filled with knowledge and was suffused with its light. Make us worthy of this sweetness that is drawn down from the highest spheres, so that we will then be able to attach ourselves to You and Your glory.
81.   Master of the Universe, full of mercy, may we hear good tidings within the melody that sounds out from the harp of seventy-two strings. Make us joyful with the song that will be played on David’s harp. From within its pleasant sound, we will once again hear the Ten Commandments. We will become a part of the prayer, “You began,” and our dispersed ones will be gathered together to the Land of Israel.
82.   Please, Hashem, may we hear a song of wonders, the song of the Land of Israel, a song of salvation that brings tidings of the redeemer. We will bring down the first Tablets once again, Tablets that were not the work of men, but that came from the upper worlds. Please, merciful Father, reveal this awesome revelation to us, for when we see it, all our sins will be transformed into merits. “My spikenard, the incense I burned for the golden calf, has given its fragrance.” The good scent, even of sin, will be revealed, and the four rivers that are the sources of all the bad desires and traits will become a part of the river that flows from Eden. The soul of the Tzaddik who is worthy of Eden will change the entire world once again into Gan Eden.
83.   Master of the Universe, Orchestrator of everything that occurs, You are higher than everything else, and there is nothing higher than You are. No thought can grasp You at all; silence is Your praise. You are above all blessing and praise. I will seek You, I will search for You, and I will beg that You dig a channel that extends from Yourself, through all the worlds, until the place where I am right now, as You know, for You know all secrets. And through this channel, shine Your light and truth upon me so that I can enjoy the light of life. Plant powerful longing in my heart for You, so that I will yearn for You with all my heart and might. I will long to delve into Your Torah with every fiber of my being, and I will wait and hope every single day for the great day, the day of the giving of the Torah, the day on which every Jew can attain the completion and purity that is natural to the Jewish people. Please make me a part of the holiness of the Jewish people on this day, and help me strip off my leprous body and don my Shabbos garments from Gan Eden just like Ruth. “And she bathed and anointed herself, and donned her garments.”
84.   That is why the Jewish people were commanded to desist from all their idolatry before Pesach: to cleanse themselves of all the muddied-up blood that had been flowing within them. And they were commanded to count the Omer from the day after Pesach, to take their own spiritual accounting and to become purified, so that their desire to become holy should never slacken and so that this pure desire should make them worthy of the awesome revelation on the fiftieth day. And that is the reason why we read the Torah portions of Taazriya and Metzora—they discuss the secret of the bride who strips off her leprous body and purifies herself for seven days. Counting sefirah and taking spiritual inventory can purify our eyes so that on the day of the giving of the Torah, we can hear the Ten Commandments emanating from the Vacated Space itself. Hearing them will nullify every possible doubt or question, so that our desire for holiness never ebbs or abates. We will encourage ourselves and empower ourselves constantly; we will never allow ourselves to fall into despair or insecurity. Then all the sefirot will shine for us like sapphires, and the spiritual roots of judgements will be mitigated by the light that shines on us during the forty-nine days of Sefirah. Then we will be worthy of understanding the secret of the “hairs,” the secret of pure white wool. For the repentance that is done during the days of Sefirah can transform our sins that are like scarlet thread into pure white wool. The white leprosy of the body will become white wool, just as You hinted to Cain. “Even if your body is as leprous as can be, if you will only break through your arrogance and be submissive before your brother Hevel, you will merit to rise to the highest level.” The leprosy that is as white as snow will become pure as the driven snow. True heartfelt repentance during the days of Sefirah can overturn any sin in the world, and all the days that were spent in sin can become garments of light and freedom.
85.   Throughout the days of Sefirah, the Shechinah sits and waits; she anticipates the completion of her sevenfold purification. And all the celestial and terrestrial beings await the wedding day. They look forward to seeing the children of Israel, the bridesmaids. They accompany the bride, and they are as pure as she is. Sins that are like scarlet will become white as snow; a garment of scarlet wool will cover the sins of years past. Threefold tears will flow from pure marble stone; pure and sweet waters will burst forth from them. And the three tears of Esav will be destroyed forever.
86.   As the morning star rises, all the bridesmaids begin their joyful procession with the bride. And the bride possesses every virtue, every kind of purity and intelligence that is sourced in the fifty gates of understanding. Her soul yearned and longed for her G-d, to become a part of the supernal bride; her whole self rejoiced to come to this unending unity, the eternal day of her wedding.
87.   Our Father, merciful Father, bring us the comfort of the final days right now, for the waters are up to our necks and the children have reached the crisis point. The holy doe, Knesset Yisrael, is pursued and seeks sanctuary. May You charge “all the hinds and gazelles of the field,” all the angels above and the legions below, to have pity on this pursued and crying doe who is torn to pieces by all the wild beasts of the forest. Then, on the fourth of Sivan, the forty-eighth day of the Omer, everyone accompanies her to the burial cave of Moshe Rabbeinu. She alone enters and sees the faithful shepherd learning the secrets of the Torah. A candle is lit before him, and the fragrance of spices surrounds him. Moshe and the doe will sit and study together, a great cry will be heard, and Moshiach will awaken to join them. On the following day, the day of Malchus within Malchus, humility within humility, the doe will climb the mountain and sound three calls. The first two are for Avraham and Yitzchak, and the last is for Yaakov and Moshe. The whole world will hear the sound of teruah, tekiyah, teruah, and know that Hashem is G-d and that He is preparing to give the Torah. On the following day, Shavuos, He will sound the great shofar and the entire world will hear the Ten Commandments amidst thunder and lightning. And then the world will hear tidings of comfort. As it is written, “You that bring good tidings to Tzion; go up into the high mountain. You that bring good tidings to Yerushalayim, lift up your voice with strength. Lift it up; don’t be afraid. Say to the cities of Yehuda: ‘Behold your G-d!’” “And strangers will come and feed your flocks, and the children of foreigners will be your ploughmen and your vinedressers.” “And nations will walk in your light, and kings under the brightness of your rising.”

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Home Lessons given by  the Rav HaRav Levi Itzchak Bender, zt"l.